


The Night Before

by Deviathan



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-09 14:06:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19477450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deviathan/pseuds/Deviathan
Summary: The night before the battle with the Archdemon, Alistair has to perform the dark ritual with Morrigan in order to save himself and the warden from their oncoming death. Alistair and the Warden discuss how the ritual affects them, and Zevran tries to find a way to cheer up the wardens and Morrigan after the ritual by seducing/pretending to seduce Morrigan.





	The Night Before

**Author's Note:**

> This is for fans of Alistair/the Warden. The ritual is implied to be unpleasant for both Alistair and Morrigan due to how much they hate each other and how resentful they feel about it due to Alistair's relationship with the Warden and Morrigan's friendship with her. It's also a blood magic ritual, so I imagined it would be at least slightly uncomfortable. This is not for fans who think they would've enjoyed it.
> 
> The warden is named only as I. There are scenes shown from outside her perspective despite this, but it's in keeping with the way the game shows events outside the Warden's life. She is not a human noble, but any other kind of warden would qualify. She chose not to make Alistair king, and she wanted to kill Loghain of her own accord. I mention this because it is addressed in the story, and gives her more background. I am not attached to a particular Warden name, and I've played so many origins that I am fine attributing this to any background except for human noble.
> 
> The Alistair romance is my personal favorite in a video game, and Dragon Age: Origins has long been my favorite video game. But the Alistair romance has a lot of tension in it, and and the player's choices affect everything about it. The first time I played I almost didn't go through with the dark ritual. After some thought, I changed my mind because I didn't want either Alistair or the Warden to die. This is reflected in the text as the main reason they go through with the dark ritual at all. It's a bit of a rough choice, and I try to show that here. 
> 
> This was written because I wanted a little more background on the dark ritual. I always felt it was missing something. Some kind of closure or discussion between Alistair and the Warden. I've also read that Zevran and Leliana aren't ever told about the ritual, and I think that's a little unfair to them, so I decided to include them in this version. Despite Leliana's pious nature, I chose to think she'd support it if only because it keeps her friends alive.
> 
> While Zevran/Morrigan isn't a ship I've heard about much, and I myself have wondered from dialogue if Leliana is at least implied to a little interested in Zevran, there's some dialogue between Morrigan and Zevran that implies the ship is not without some background. And here, it is mostly included for humor and to lighten up a rather tense and dark scenario.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy. I love this game so much, and that's why I chose to write these scenes.

“Are you sure you want me to do this?” asked Alistair. He held my hands in his.

This was going to be the last moment of my life where he’d only spent the night with me.

I nodded. “I love you.”

“And I love you.” He squeezed my hand, much harder than the usual gentle way he’d hold it.

“It should be over in about an hour,” said Morrigan. “Or less. You need not worry. I will not keep him too long.”

Alistair kept his gaze locked with mine as he slowly closed the door.

I turned and smacked the stone wall. I held back a cry. Silent tears washed down my cheeks.

I tried to wipe them away, but they emptied down onto my face.

And I felt someone watching. I looked up.

Zevran and Leliana were staring at me.

I bolted to the room I shared with Alistair.

I slammed the door. I finally let myself sob aloud.

The door slid open.

“Go away!” I shouted.

I wiped off my cheeks. “Sorry, you can come in.”

“What is going on?” asked Leliana.

She and Zevran slipped in. He closed the door so quietly I didn’t hear it shut.

“I’m not sure if I should tell you,” I said.

“Alistair just went into Morrigan’s room,” said Leliana. “You could tell me that Morrigan was secretly the archdemon, and I’d believe you.”

“It’s a Grey Warden thing,” I said. “And a Morrigan thing.”

“My dear warden, you seem disturbed,” said Zevran. “Might I suggest you explain?”

If I told them, would I be betraying the Grey Wardens? But the Fereldan remnants of my order were staying in this building with me, and if I didn’t talk to my friends about this, I might blurt this out to someone worse. “You must keep this a secret. I know you two can keep secrets. You’re an assassin, and you were a spy. I need that secrecy now, more than anything.”

“I swear to never tell,” said Zevran.

“As do I,” said Leliana.

And I remembered Leliana’s pious nature. I added, “And don’t judge.”

“Who am I to judge another?” said Zevran.

“We have all done many things we are not proud of, but I trust you. I would never judge you.”

I took in a deep breath. How did you explain this to anyone? “When a warden kills the archdemon, they sacrifice their life.”

Leliana said, “So she is the archdemon? I—”

“No,” I said. “She offered another option. If she conceives a child with Alistair tonight, it can absorb the soul of the archdemon and keep Alistair and I alive.”

“That’s dark,” said Zevran.

“But it’ll save you?” said Leliana.

“I believe so,” I said. “I trust Morrigan on this. She didn’t seem happy about this either.”

“I don’t like this,” said Leliana. “Are we sure she’s not just using Alistair?”

“She hates him just as much as he hates her,” I said. “The last thing she wants is to sleep with Alistair, but she’ll let it further her goals. And she’s doing to keep me alive. It’s not entirely what either of them want, but I told him to do it. I had to.”

“But is what she’s doing a good idea? Riordan could—”

“I don’t think Riordan’s going to survive tomorrow,” I said. “I don’t like it either. But I have to do it for Alistair. I didn’t make Alistair king because he didn’t want it. I’m not going to let him die now.”

“Many things are necessary for survival, and I think this is one,” said Zevran. “It’s not the worst thing for your lover to bed another if you still have him tomorrow.”

I hissed. “Zevran, I know you’re cavalier about such things, but I love this man more than anything on Thedas, and he’s currently in the arms of someone else. It’s better than him being dead, but I feel like my heart’s being ripped out right now.”

“That is reasonable,” said Zevran. “Can I help in anyway? Ease your pain in anyway?”

“If you’re trying to convince me to sleep with you while this is going on, that’s not happening.”

Zevran laughed. “No, of course not. In this state, I think you’d be more likely to throw me out the tower window than bed me.”

“I’m considering it,” I said.

Zevran laughed. “Good. Always consider your options. Hmm.” Zevran rubbed his chin. “You said Morrigan didn’t seem too keen on this either?”

“No,” I said.

“Then I do have an idea,” said Zevran. “You carry little gifts on you that you hand out to most of your companions. Do you have anything Morrigan would fancy?”

“There’s this gold necklace in my pack—”

“That will work,” said Zevran. “Do you know if she likes flowers of any kind?”

“Herbs for potions, but—”

“Good enough,” said Zevran. “I have some planning to do. I wish you luck with your strange rituals.”

Zevran slipped out of the room. I exchanged glances with Leliana.

“Do you have any idea what he’s doing?” I asked.

“I could be wrong, but…it sounds like he’s trying to seduce Morrigan,” said Leliana.

“Is that supposed to help?” I said.

“Does it?” asked Leliana. She didn't look pleased. I often wondered if she’d been interested in Zevran herself.

I shrugged. “Maybe. It’s certainly a strange thing. I have to wrap my head around the idea first. And he has to succeed.”

“We will see,” she said. She looked down at the ground. “While I do not approve of your ritual, I don’t want either you or Alistair to die. I don’t know what the Maker would think, but defeating the Blight is a noble cause.”

“I didn’t think you’d like it,” I said. “I wasn’t going to tell anyone.”

“I will never tell either,” said Leliana.

She offered a friendly hand. I held it.

“Do you want to play cards for the time being? Take your mind off of what’s happening?”

I nodded. “Anything to distract me.” 

***

About an hour later, the door creaked open. Alistair entered in his tunic.

“It’s done,” he said.

I put down my cards. Leliana exited without a word.

I looked away from him. I covered my eyes. When I turned back, he was still standing there, looking at the ground.

“Are you alright?” I asked. I rose and then laid on the bed.

“I’m certainly uncomfortable. And I’ll be trying to erase this night from my memory till the next age, but I’ll live. Are you? That wasn’t an easy thing for you to ask me to do.”

“It wasn’t an easy thing for you to do.”

He stepped closer to the bed. “Are you alright?”

“I will be,” I said.

He laid down beside me, not touching me. I met his gaze before I moved. I needed to see if it was okay to ease myself into his embrace, to see if he’d ever let me touch him again.

He brought his arm around me, and I rested my head on his chest. I hadn't noticed till he touched me, but his hand had been bandaged. The ritual had included blood magic.

He sighed. “That’s much better.”

“How are you really? How was it?”

“How do you think it was?” he said. He sounded more pained than venomous. He didn’t let go of me.

“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to see how you’re feeling.”

“It was horrible.”

I didn’t know if that was a relief or a fear. “How’d you get through it?”

“By closing my eyes and pretending it was you.”

Once again, tears washed down my face. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know how much you hate her. I never should’ve asked this of you. I just don’t want to lose you.”

“I know,” he said. “I love you. I’m never going to stop loving you. Not for this, not for anything. I’d die for you. Of course I’d sleep with Morrigan for you.”

I snuggled against him. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I made you do this.”

“If I didn’t do this, then I would’ve died for you. Or you would’ve died for me. Whichever of us got the opportunity first. I know it. You know it.”

And I did. If I hadn’t done it, I would’ve left him behind during the final battle so I could face the end alone. And if I’d taken him with me, I didn’t think I could’ve stopped him.

“You don’t think Riordan’s going to reach the Archdemon tomorrow?” I said.

“No, do you?”

“No. Something tells me he’s not.” I couldn’t tell if it was Grey Warden’s intuition, or if I knew something in this world was trying to make life as difficult for us as possible.

“Let’s just hope one of us doesn’t get run through with a sword the wrong way. Though I doubt it. Considering your skill and luck, I’d be surprised if any of our group even got knocked out.”

“I hope not. I hope this wasn’t for nothing.”

“It’s your and Morrigan’s way of keeping us safe,” said Alistair. “There’s something to be said for that. And you’d rather I sleep with Morrigan than let one of us die. And so would I.”

I eased off his chest and met his gaze. He met me in a soft, slow, kiss. I laid back down by his chest.

“That is so much better,” he said.

I didn’t know whether to feel pride or guilt. “I’m sorry you had to go through with that.”

“I told you. I understand. And it wasn’t easy for you either.” He ran a hand through my hair. “For me, no one can compare to you. You’re the one good thing I’ve found since that night at Ostagar, and I will spend every day from now on happy, because I get to be with you. I’m not letting the Blight take you away, and the Archdemon himself would have to pry you away for me to ever let you go.”

I met him in a kiss.

“I love you,” I said. “And I only asked this because I love you. And I would do anything to keep you alive.”

“I know.” He smiled for the first time since he’d entered the room. I guessed that I could get away with returning to our usual banter.

“I could’ve asked you to sleep with someone worse,” I said. “Like Oghren.”

“The hardest part of that would be getting through the smell,” said Alistair with a laugh. “But I don’t know if it would’ve been worse. If I got as drunk as Oghren does, maybe I would’ve tolerated it.”

“The archdemon? You said he’d have to pry me away from you himself.”

“A few logistical problems with that one. Be pretty uncomfortable, I imagine.”

“The broodmother?”

“Ugh! Okay, let’s not even discuss that.”

“Loghain?” After a second, I added, “Loghain’s corpse?”

I was afraid from his face that Alistair might die of revulsion. “I don’t know if the live version or the corpse would be worse. But congratulations, you officially found someone worse than Morrigan!” He frowned. “I’ve been thinking about something with Loghain.”

“Yes?”

“I didn’t understand why Riordan wanted him to join us. He killed many of our order, let the rest of us die, and Riordan wanted him to become one of us. Be a hero. I understand what he was trying to do now. If I’d known…I might’ve…” And he looked at me, “I would’ve…”

“You couldn’t have known,” I said. “And I wanted to kill Loghain just as much as you did.”

“He could’ve died, and I wouldn’t have had to do this.” He sighed. “I didn’t tell you this when I asked…you to sleep with me, but you were the first person I’d spent the night with, and if I’d had it my way, you would’ve been the last.”

It almost hurt to hear him say, but I knew he was blaming himself more than me. After everything, I’d wanted Loghain dead as much as he did. “It’s not your fault. I wouldn’t have let Loghain join either. Not unless I’d known. I know you wanted to kill him more than I did, but I still wanted him dead. This isn’t your fault.”

Alistair sighed. “I just wish it could’ve been different.”

“I wish I’d never had to ask this of you. But I love you. I don’t want to spend my life wishing you were here. I love your laugh, your jokes, your love of cheese. I couldn’t bear to never see you again.”

He kissed me. “From here on, unless some other crazy magical thing happens, I don’t think you’re going to ask me to sleep with anyone else.”

“Never. From now on, you’re just mine.”

***

Zevran knocked on the door of another room.

“What?” shouted Morrigan.

“If you don’t mind, I have a proposition for you,” said Zevran.

“Fine, come in,” said Morrigan.

He entered. The carpet had been pulled over some blood stains on the floor. It was hasty work, but a common enough practice among assassins. Morrigan scowled so often, he thought it was how she rested her face, but the pronounced, intense expression on her face out-scowled all the ones before it.

“I am listening,” she said.

“I’ve heard you had an…experience with one of our Grey Wardens.”

“Ugh!” she said. “Let’s not discuss that. It was one of the most unpleasant things I’ve ever had to suffer in my life, and I did it for her. I did it so she’d survive, and she wouldn’t spend her life as a heartbroken mess. She’d be devastated without that fool at her side.” She sighed. “I couldn’t do that to her. She’s the best friend I’ve ever had. The only friend I’ve ever had. And I don’t want her to die.”

“From what I gather, that’s why she allowed this to happen,” said Zevran.

“I’m certain it is,” she said. “Now, what do you want?”

“I brought you a gift,” said Zevran. He handed her a simple gold chain.

“It is quite pretty, but what is the purpose of your visit?”

“I had a thought. About our Grey Wardens. Despite your noble intentions, I do believe they are upset about recent events.”

“They can be upset all they like. They are alive.”

“But I have thought of a way to ease that. What if you and I were to—”

“Forget it,” she said. “You’re not touching an inch of me.”

Zevran smiled. “Very well. But I have another thought. What if we pretend to enjoy ourselves?”

“What for?” she said.

“We make a lot of noise. We causes a ruckus. If anyone realizes someone’s been in your room tonight, they’ll assume it was me. The noise will make it clear to the wardens that you’d rather forget about your tryst with Alistair as soon as possible and by any means necessary.”

“That latter part is true,” she said. “And it would keep many from discovering what did occur this evening.”

“So, you are willing?”

“I suppose I am.”

“Then let us begin,” said Zevran.

I heard screaming from down the hall. Alistair and I jumped from the bed and drew our swords.

As we shuffled down the hallway, the rest of the group opened their doors to listen. I soon realized I wasn’t hearing screams of pain but of pleasure.

Oghren watched their door with interest.

“Quiet down!” said Sten. “Some of us are trying to sleep. There is a battle tomorrow!”

Morrigan responded with an exaggerated moan.

All but Oghren slowly shuffled back into their rooms, refusing to comment on the matter.

I returned with Alistair and began to laugh.

“You don’t think that means she was just trying to seduce as many of us as she could then?”

“No,” I said. “Zevran implied to me that he was considering seducing her. I think she wanted to forget she’d bedded you as quickly as possible.”

“The feeling is mutual,” said Alistair. “Though I do feel a little used.”

“You were used,” I said.

“I know, but it’s not a good feeling,” said Alistair. He kissed me. “If it’s alright with you while I’d like to forget that as quickly as possible, I’m still a little sore and would rather refrain from love-making for awhile. That ritual wasn’t comfortable." He rubbed at the bandage on his hand.

I grimaced. “I don’t want to know.”

“You really don’t.” He cupped my face in his hands. “But I do want you to come to bed with me. I could use some cuddles before the battle tomorrow.”

“Of course,” I said. And I looked forward to nothing more than good night’s sleep eased by his embrace.

***

“Think we’ve done enough?” said Zevran.

“Possibly,” said Morrigan.

Morrigan brought her face inches from Zevran’s. From her hungry expression, Zevran thought she was going to bite him, but instead, she kissed him.

“Mmm,” said Zevran as he backed out of the kiss. “Changed your mind, have you?”

“I’d mostly rather get the taste of Alistair out of my mouth,” said Morrigan. “And I will admit that while this display is ridiculous, you on top of me is rather enticing.”

“If you’re certain,” said Zevran. “And if you promise not to kill me afterwards.”

“We shall see,” said Morrigan, and she brought him into another kiss.


End file.
